


You're the guy who killed my parents

by TenthSyllable



Category: Scene - Fandom, Team Starkid - Fandom, Twisted: The Untold Story of a Royal Vizier - Holmes/McMahon/Lang & Lang & Gale, musical - Fandom
Genre: Gen, team starkid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-08-10 11:50:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7843807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TenthSyllable/pseuds/TenthSyllable
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A scene from Twisted: The Untold Story of a Royal Vizier</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're the guy who killed my parents

**Author's Note:**

> * EA = Evil Aladdin  
> * RA = Regular Aladdin

[JASMINE and ALADDIN standing]

Jasmine: Aladdin, Stop. You’re Pissing me off. You’re making sex sound gross and lame. In fact, I’m sure, Yeah! I’m never gonna have sex with you!

[ALADDIN stumbles back, seems hurt]

Aladdin: You should never say never babe. Take off your clothes [repeats fast x2]. Why isn’t it working!?

[JA’FAR enters]

Ja’far: What the hell is going on in here?

Jasmine: Nothing! You got that Aladdin? We’re not a thing anymore, okay?

Aladdin: We’re just having our first fight. Maybe after some make up sex-

Jasmine: No!

Aladdin: You know what? I thought you were mature for your age. But you’re just like all the other 16 year old princesses I’ve dated. Except you’re forgetting one thing. I’m a thief. I take what I want!

[ALADDIN pulls out dagger and grabs JASMINE]

[Intersecting]  
Aladdin: Get back!  
Ja’far: Princess!

Aladdin: One step and the little girl gets it.

Ja’far: Okay, I’m not moving, just be cool.

Aladdin: Who’re you telling me to be cool motherfucker? I’m getting out of here! I’m making a clean getaway back to my apartment and little Princess is coming with me!

Ja’far: No! I won’t let you take her. You have no idea how much this girl means to me. I love her!

Aladdin: Uh, you lover her? Dude she’s like half your age, you’re a total pedo.

Ja’far: No not that type of love you shit for brains. You don’t understand. 

[JA’FAR turns to audience]

Ja’far: My wife was with child when she was taken by the sultan. She died in childbirth. And then the princess was coincidentally born around-... the same time. By Allah how could I have never seen it before? The sultan inverted his penis years ago! He could never have had children! 

[JA’FAR turns back to ALADDIN]

Ja’far: Aladdin, Please. Don’t hurt her. I love her like a daughter! Surely you have felt this type of love before.

[ALADDIN lowers dagger and steps back]  
[JA’FAR and JASMINE slowly go to separate sides of stage, still visible. Very confused]

Aladdin: Oh yeah. I loved my parents.

[turns head in a different voice] (EA)* [RA]*  
{Basically having conversation with self}

EA: But that didn’t stop me from doing what needed to be done.

RA: Wait, What?

EA: Yeah dude, Remember me?

RA: You? You’re the guy who killed my parents. Where’ve you been man?

EA: In your reflection. I live here.

RA: No I live here!

EA: Nooooo, You’re just squattin’ here

RA: w-w-wait, If i’m you, then that means,   
[REGULAR ALADDIN goes cross eyed]  
RA: I killed my parents? But I didn’t want them to die!

EA: Who’re ya kiddin? You wished for it every goddamn day of your life.They were going to kick you out of the house.

RA: They were, weren’t they.

EA: Make you get a job.  
RA: I don’t want one of those.

EA: That’s why… they HAD to die.

RA: Wow, I guess you’re right. I guess I should be thanking you.

EA: Yeah! I think a thank you’s in order!

RA: Well thank you.

EA: You’re welcome! Now, Time to get that lamp back.

RA: Wait. What are you going to do with the lamp?

EA: Wish for stuff jackass. Like how you wished to be this prince. Pretty good Idea by the way. But there are better Ideas. Better wishes.

RA: Like what?

EA: I don’t know… but it’s going to be one HELL of a ride.

[JA’FAR gets up from where he is, very confused]

Ja’far: Okay, Jesus Christ I don’t know what’s going on here. But you are in no position to be handling that knife or this lamp!

EA: Back off!

RA: [steps back] Listen to him man, he’ll kill you!

EA: Yeah! Now you’re getting it. See I’m the one who deserves that lamp! Because I’m the best wisher. That’s the trick! You just really have to believe you’re own bullshit! Who else could have done it? And come this far? You? You’re an ugly old fart.

Ja’far: You’re right, you’re right! I’m not the kind of person who can use the lamp. I don’t believe in wishes. It takes someone who believes that they can change the world to actually do it.

EA: Yeah. Someone like me. So why don’t you hand that lamp over to someone who actually knows how to use it.

Ja’far: I think I will. But if I give you the lamp, will you give me the princess?

EA: Sure, you can have this prude! I can wish for a slutty princess, or a million!  
Ja’far: Then so be it!

[ALADDIN goes to take lamp but JA’FAR steps away]

Ja’far: But first, I make my final wish! Djinn, I wish to take your place as the wish granter!

 

[END OF SCENE]


End file.
